The Verdict

I was granted a vacation because of my Ill grandfather. Away from the stress and heartaches that I was experiencing. Went home with a huge smile on my face because I missed my parents, family and friends as well as my very big bed. This vacation was actually part realization of what I really wanted to happen to my life and career.

My conviction was tested these past few weeks (Actually when I started working in manila). My patience was never tested to it's actual threshold to the point that for the first time, I broke down in front of a class because of the stress that they have given me.

Stressed from escalations, workload and heartache. I couldn't joggle all at the same time, I had to sacrifice one of them. 

I choose to forget being in love, ito lang naman ang walang patutunguhan. Tama ang mga mentors ko.. "walang love life ang mga trainer". ( well, that saying can be changed if someone would be brave enough to.. never mind.lol) 

Love can be both and inspiration and depression, especially If the other isn't willing to compromise..

I'm a very inconsistent, aggressive and impulsive person, it made me strong over the years..so I guess that'll never change. But there are times that we should make a decision, even If it's drastic, we should. Everything in life is a matter of choice. if you don't choose then you'll never reach your goal. Making or choosing a decision is a gamble, You might hurt other people to your advantage but we just have to be practical, All canonized saints were martyrs that's why they deserved it. Everybody has a martyr side in them, sometimes overflowing, but we should always be ready to unleash our dark side when needed.

Everybody should have a plan B and C, even If we make our own fate. It's just a walk down a one way street. We should look and walk straight and when we trip, we pull ourselves together and start with plan B.

There's another opportunity that just knocked, but I won't take it. I want more than what I have right now but I don't want to "level up" without working hard. I work hard for love how much more with my career. Some thing are just never meant to be, we don't have to feel bad about it. Yes, we'd weep and cry about it but after the rain is over, we just have to find the rainbow that'll lead us to our new pot of gold.

Tomorrow is going to be a brand new day, it's time to face our lions or sometimes the monster we've created. hard work is always rewarded, well technically not in this situation, but who cares. Atleast we all tried. I'm gonna set my feelings aside, less emotional, more strong. After all, nobody can knock Von down.